I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
