i just google imaged poop.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
As shirtless as possible
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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