am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
