You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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