..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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