I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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