Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
