So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
