Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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