Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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