i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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