Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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