..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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