I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
