the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
