I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
