For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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