We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
