I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
