Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
