He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
