I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
being pregnant is like rehab
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
