1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
