i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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