The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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