just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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