he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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