she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
