I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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