the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
