It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
