We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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