the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
