did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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