I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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