yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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