i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize