i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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