Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
