I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
