I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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