The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
