spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
