just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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