im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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