organizing the empties. That sober.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
