he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
