Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
These tits shall not be calmed
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
