I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I would ride that face into the sunset
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
