so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
its liver damage thursday
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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