I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
