3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
