Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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