YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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