Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
