life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
