so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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