people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
