Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
