how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
