So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Terrible idea I love it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
