it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
