so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
