in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
