i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
