I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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