READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
