Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
